Buddhist Compassion Relief Tzu Chi Foundation

[ Master's Teachings ]
In life, there are people that we feel drawn toward and people it seems we can't help but dislike. Even though someone may be a nice and good person, somehow, when we see him or her, a feeling of strong dislike arises, unbidden. Just seeing them causes a change in our mood, but we don't even know why we react so negatively to them. Without our control, our attitude becomes very bad—our tone sharp, our words unkind. Why does this happen?

The reason for this rejection lies in our having formed negative relations with this person in a past life; in Buddhism, we call these negative karmic affinities. But, just as we can form negative karmic affinities with others, positive karmic affinities can also be formed. When we share positive karmic affinities with people from a past life, in this life, we will naturally take a liking to them. In liking them, everything they say sounds quite right and sensible to us, and we readily agree with them. Even when their views are actually distorted or wrong, we place our faith in them and believe them to be in the right. Therefore, even when they lead us to do wrong things, we willingly follow them and believe them to be good people who are doing the right thing. This is because of the positive karmic affinities between us and them.

Meanwhile, when we have negative karmic affinities with people, we are not able to accept anything they have to say. Even if they are in fact sincere and good people, we do not feel that they are. Remember the story about the Buddha, Ananda, and a poor woman of the village? When the Buddha came into her village, the impoverished woman could not stand the sight of the Buddha. Immediately upon seeing him, she disliked him and could not take in any of his teachings. When the woman saw Ananda, however, she liked him very much and was drawn to him. When he shared the Buddha's teachings with her, she was very happy to listen and found the teachings to be quite beneficial.

The situation was due to the karmic affinities the three had formed in a former life. In that life, the woman had lost her child and was consumed by grief. A spiritual cultivator passing her by on the side of the road saw her crying and stopped to ask why she was. But after learning that her tears were over the death of her child, he stoically explained that there was no need to grieve, for death was but a natural law of life. His detached manner and direct words felt very harsh and cold to her, making her feel angry and hurt. Later, another cultivator happened along the same road and likewise stopped to ask the reason for her tears. Upon learning of her child's death, this cultivator compassionately comforted her while sharing with her the Buddhist perspective on life and death. The first cultivator was Shakyamuni Buddha in that life; the second was Ananda. Because of the karmic affinities they had formed in that interaction, in this lifetime, the woman disliked the Buddha on sight, despite his being a Buddha. Such is the impact of karmic affinities.

The making of karmic affinities has much to do with our attitude and behavior. The tiniest of comments or a moment's harshness in tone could mean the forming of negative karmic affinities. Therefore, we need to be very mindful and aware in our daily life.

We must also understand that the good and bad feelings we have toward people in our lives are in fact due to the karmic affinities formed in past lives. The karmic affinities color our perception of them as good or bad people. If we can realize this, then even though we may feel a strong dislike toward someone, we can start to change our perception of them and become successful in overcoming our negative feelings. Then we can begin to transform the karmic affinities between us—for at every moment, we in fact have the chance to create new karmic affinities with people. But, if we continue to hold on to the belief that the other person is truly a bad person and refuse to consider that our perception is influenced by karmic affinities, we will just continue to perpetuate the negative karmic affinities.

If we can truly understand the existence and impact of karmic affinities, we can transform our relationships with others. This is the kind of mindful practice for our daily life.


From Dharma Master Cheng Yen's Talks
Compiled into English by the Jing Si Abode English Editorial Team